Make Performance Feedback Less Scary

Once upon a time, in a not-so-distant corporate kingdom, I had an employee come into my office and shut the door. By the way, shutting the door in HR means a conversation is about to unfold, and it will take longer than the ‘minute’ they requested.

Let’s call her Sally – here’s the summary of her situation. Sally found herself facing one of the most chilling experiences of her professional life: receiving feedback from her manager. With a somber tone, the manager began with the dreaded words, "I need to give you some feedback." The room seemed to grow colder, and her heart raced. She braced for impact.

As he delved into his critique, it felt like a horror story unfolding before her. He pointed out every mistake, every shortcoming, and every area where she had fallen short. It was as if he was reading a list of her deepest fears, and her self-confidence plummeted with each passing minute.

The manager's words seemed to echo in the dimly lit room, and she struggled to maintain her composure. The feedback, though undoubtedly valuable, was delivered in a way that made it feel like a relentless barrage of negativity.

The more he spoke, the more she felt like she was drowning in a sea of despair.

Is Sally a bit dramatic? Yes.

Is Sally right to expect better from her manager? Also yes.

In the days that followed, Sally reflected on that eerie encounter. While the feedback was undoubtedly critical for her growth, the manager's approach had left her a bit traumatized.

This mostly true experience serves as a reminder that feedback need not be a harrowing experience. It can be delivered constructively, be motivating, and have a focus on improvement rather than fear.

Don’t be like Sally’s manager. Instead, follow these tips for providing feedback:

Set the Stage - Find a quiet, private space for your feedback session. Ensure it's a comfortable, judgment-free zone, so employees don't feel like they're on a haunted house tour.

Demystify the Process - One of the scariest aspects of feedback is the uncertainty. Demystify it by explaining the purpose and structure of the feedback session in advance.

Keep It Frequent - Performance feedback isn't a once-a-year event. Make feedback a regular part of your routine. Frequent, smaller discussions make the annual "haunting" feedback session feel less ominous.

So, this Halloween season, don't let poorly delivered performance feedback haunt your workplace. After all, who needs ghosts or scary jack-o-lanterns when you can have a motivated and engaged team instead?

Happy Halloween, and may your
feedback be spooktacularly successful!